"A. told me casually 'T.S. Eliot died yesterday' – like a crack over the head, exactly, followed by headaches. Heavy after-effects. I've so tangled him into my thoughts, as the guru-in-chief, & dreamed of him so clearly & unambiguously that this will have consequences for me. At once I felt windswept, unsafe. At the same time, realized that from now on everything will be different. He was in my mind, constantly, like a rather over-watchful, over-powerful father, and now he has gone. I shall have to move - be able to move, maybe."